Twenty three years completed
Survived or lived?
Achievement or a journey
Milestones or the diversions
What matters the most is the time well spent is remembered the longest
Born to fulfill a goal,
Answer for and not question things..
What stopped me from questioning the things around
Why dint I ever question gravity, why dint I ever questioned the rising sun
To question a question now is a foolish thing to do, however its never too late
Never too delayed to start , have a new beginning, a new morning
Life is always too short to complete things but its long enough to start the new ones
Its a dark and painful night for her. Is it the beginning of a new story or the end of an old one.Yet she tries hard, and then finally a cry is heard.A shrill sharp voice that fills the room and echoes back reminds the mother of her own childhood.But before this happened a deeper thought crossed the mother’s mind that is she really safe. She here is the baby.Every second around 30 kids are born out of which 20 are girls. This thought crosses each of those child’s parents.
Is this thought really worth giving importance? Yes it is . In a country where every minute 15 women are raped , 10 are burnt alive and many other go through varied other forms of unnamed tortures. A country that worships a godess is the one that ranks among the most dangerous places for women to live in. Numerous factors come to surface such as the conservative upbringing of indian men and women, highly sensitive religious sentiments and religion being used for political gamble.
The conservative mindset that is developed from childhood, a boy is taught to be a brave man, but not chivalrous , he is taught to be strong but never asked to excersise his descretion while using his strength, is all that ultimately boils down to the fact that he becomes violent. I do not say that all men are same, but the way society and their family brings them up makes them very similar.
The indian political system provides ample oppurtunities for the common and not so common man to take advantage of the religious sentiments, thus the easiest target that men see in this patriarchal society is thewomen. They try to inflict violence on the women of the other religions to serve the selfish motives of their political parties.
Men are not just the only reason for this poor status of women, rather women accepting this status is the root cause. Each woman needs to have confidence enough to raise her voice, and learn to say No for things that are not acceptable.
The past, the present, the future is one now
As the time spins by and the winds slow
The life seems short
And the seconds long.
The sun sets , hopes rise
With each passing microsecond the heart dies
But if I live , I will not be alive
This moment has made me realize .
This last moment , is all mine
I do not want anybody to intervene
A lifetime spent listening to others
Deserves some peace when it withers.
The sound of the music, the smell of coffee seems all so unfamiliar this morning. Never has my day started this way before, getting ready and rushing to the office has been my morning itinerary. Have I changed, or is it the time. And if I have changed then is it for the good or bad.
The change, will it be accepted or rejected . But why do I care for the acceptance or the rejection. That is what I have been caring all about throughout my 22 years of life . The 22 years of my life. Had they been a joy or a misery, a pleasure or a burden. I cannot judge. Waiting for somebody is the thing I hate the most , but while doing the same right now I came to realize that this is what I have been doing throughout my life.
22 years , have just been a never ending torture, an endless wait for not just one thing or a single event, but for something that I don’t even know what for. Was it good grades, no, I got that; was it a family that loves me, no, I always had that; was it the money, no , I have always had enough. Then what is it?
All these years spent and gone in a dilemma to find some satisfaction , some finality , some end . But nothing like that is to be seen anywhere. I feel like a girl lost in the world, or is everyone lost the same way?
Chances are very high that you are in a fairyland, a place where everyone wants to go but very few know how. You feel for a moment that you have everything in this world, the other moment you acknowledge yourself as the most deprived soul on this planet. This incessant desire for more, the dissatisfaction with the present is seen by many as the trigger to move ahead, while some view it as a part of a person’s habits or behavior.
There have been very few times when I have literally felt happy. In fact if I recall correctly, there had been none so far. I do not know what happiness feels like. Was I happy when I scored a 100, or when I earned a gold medal at the university, or when I was offered a job. I am unsure of what I felt at those moments. I had a sense of achievement for a moment and the next hour it was gone. It was momentary, like a butterfly caught and then it died as soon as I opened my palm. I do not know about other people what they define happiness as. Because often emotions are too subjective and different people have different perceptions.
Maybe the fairyland I am searching for is the one I am already in, but how to know that. How to confirm that this is the best thing I can have. Because the best is always what the other person has. Some say learn to get satisfied, while others say the moment you are satisfied, you are ready to die. I don not know which one to choose. Maybe many of you are wise enough to chose one. But I am really in a dilemma .
Each day is different; some feel new and refreshing while others feel old and boring. However still waking up in the morning forgetting the day before is the best thing I can do to take my life a step forward. I write about my personal experiences, no generic accounts that can be shared, but I enjoy doing it. I feel this is the best possible way I can take control of my life.
Reading a book, relating with its characters and having a hangover of the same for a day or two. That is what I am like. Lost in a fairy tale for a few days, trying to find the prince charming and then suddenly the reality dawns upon. I am not a princess; I am a fighter, a warrior who has to make a place in this cruel world. Fight out the people around to get the visibility in this overpopulated place, hence no time for the charming guys. No Barbie dolls, just books and assignments have been my Life. No time to think for a boyfriend, only the upcoming meetings and the projects. No picnics or outings just the executive lunches, which is the sweetness of my life. When I get the appraisal, or an appreciation that is the honey, the jam; however sometimes I feel too lonely. While travelling in the metro, watching the couples cuddling make me feel they are so stupid to publicly display their affection, too naïve and foolish. However somewhere at the back of my mind, though I fear to accept it I also want somebody who will be there to love me, care for me, ask me where I am , how I am , wait for me for coffees and small luncheons.
I do not wish for a grand affair, just a simple love . A man who will understand me before I speak the words, surprise me with unexpected visits, love me for who I am , accept me with all my baggage. But all this sounds too dreamy, especially in a society where I have been born and brought up. Though there is freedom to choose one’s life partner but that comes with multiple terms and conditions. I have been taught to be a perfectionist, an ideal example to be quoted for my cousins, so finding love is not an option for me.
Life is a bag; some of what goes in it becomes luxury, some necessity and some unnecessary baggage. It depends on us what things we classify under these categories. Maybe I have been too idealistic to follow all the rules, too harsh on myself that I forgot to think of my own self. Life has been a process, learning; however there are some things that are just meant to happen. There is no process or a procedure to do them right. So sometimes its good to learn to let things happen. Realizing this, and releasing all my thoughts out of my mind I believe I am free to experience the unexpected beauty of life.
Killing the happiness within is an art for which women seem to have the expertise in almost all the societies from the east to west and north to south across the globe. Living in the moment, experiencing the spirit of freedom are things better said than done especially in an Indian society. I have had the experience of an Indian culture in my life so cannot comment upon others. A patriarchal society wherein if a woman tries to break the rules, tries to bring herself to the front or rise up the ladder she is looked upon with disgust and as a criminal.
Indians claim that the times have changed, however the people and their mindset hasn’t. Enter the most modern of the households and the story is the same though with minor change of characters and props.
The life of a woman has always been difficult, though now many have the financial freedom but still the right to exercise the real freedom remains to be behind a big black book of rules. There always lurks the fear that she may get corrupt by this world. If she is thought to be so pure that the world can corrupt her and the only other gender that exists other than her is the man, and these rules too are being framed by him only; so it’s time we revise them. Because we are no puppets, no one can control us and furthermore who men are to makes rules for us to protect us from them. We have the ability to fight against them; the only thing that is needed is to change the mindset of the women. Only if all women unite to think big, then can they we the chains. Every time she takes a risk, try something new she has to ask herself if she is doing it right? It is not always supposed to be right. Sometimes some things are to be done for oneself, what one enjoys and right and wrong are just human perceptions after all.
Is happiness really a state of mind? Close your eyes for a minute and imagine you are happy. Now open your eyes, what happens? Do you feel more excited and enthusiastic than you were before this activity? I don’t think so; because you cannot be happy merely by thinking .Hence I believe that happiness is more than just a state of mind. It is a mental state that gives positive physical energy when a positive personal incident that holds true in present context or was true in the past.
This concrete definition of happiness though modifies itself in different scenarios, though not deviating from its foundation. People’s perception of happiness differs from one another. The same incident may bring happiness to some while sorrow to others. Hence the context has to be personal in extreme sense. The 9/11 attacks brought happiness to the attackers ,sorrow to those who lost their loved ones while failed to have any effect on the people far off and remained just a piece of breaking news for them.
The frustration and irritation among the people is growing with each passing year. Tolerance seems to be vanishing at an exponential rate, is this all because of the lack of happiness? Maybe, so. However time also plays a crucial role. What if somebody does not even has the time to look for the happiness. But if that happens with somebody then is that life worth living, does it hold any meaning. A person who is an expert at solving equations and evaluates everything logically loses logic with his/her life if he/she is unable to get the peace and pleasure on the right hand side of their life’s equation.
Life has myriad of aspects that involve happiness, sorrow, struggle and peace. The happiness is truly enjoyed only when one has tasted the sorrow and have gone through a struggle .Happiness can be found in the things we loathe but have not yet experienced.it can be found in the busiest day and if not desired for it could not be found even while on a vacation. To reach the happiness however what is really important is to have a context and the desire.
The way you begin your day decides how you will end it. Have a happy beginning and then stop worrying about the end. Helping others is not a sure shot way to guaranteed happiness. The path to happiness differs from person to person. What is needed is to find that direction. Close your eyes now, think for a minute the last thing that made you happy. If you get an answer then try doing that thing differently the next time to rediscover your joy. If however you fail to get an answer then whenever you are happy the next time just make a note of that. The reason could be that you are too happy to remember just one thing, or the real happiness is just about to come. The guaranteed way to peace is optimism.
What I can advise you with is that happiness comes with a guarantee that lasts till you have the right perspective and a warrantee till you have the apt vision and outlook.
Time is the omnipotent ultimate power that exists in this world. It has the ability to change anything to everything and everything to nothing. With the passing time the looks of a person changes and so does the perspective to life. Imagine if time has the potential to change an individual’s ideology, his ideas and his persona then there is perhaps nothing left in this world that can remain untouched from it. From the childhood we are preached to value time and with the growing age we realize its price also. It is perhaps the only thing in the world that is respected and worshiped equally by the devotees and atheists as well. If somebody kills time then the future ,past and the present of that individual is suffocated by time .Time is perhaps the most revengeful being if you consider it as somebody amongst us and truly follows the thought : ‘revenge is a dish best served cold’. When you feel that everything is going the way it is meant to be then there comes the time to take its past revenge .Time never forgets how you have wasted it and so it always reminds you about that at some stage of your life and makes you repent for that.
However time is a great healer as well. It can cure grief, pain and happiness too that you can no longer cherish. Life is like a door where on one side you stand with all the present baggage and on the other side stands your past .Time is like the glass separating you and your past. It can either help you cherish the beautiful memories by looking through it or if the past aint so beautiful then it cracks itself to help you forget that and every time you look back it reminds you that there is nothing to look for behind the cracked glass.
Time is like a wave that when coming closer makes you feel that this is what you had always wanted and when they touch and go back imparts a sense of fulfillment. Time is the only thing in the world that can make you laugh and cry at the same moment. There exist so many views about time but one fact on which their foundation rests is that time respects only those who respect it.
I have portrayed the time as a very shrewd business man, the one who is ready to go to any extent to get the work done or to take the revenge. I think majority of us have been taught about the time this way from our childhood. So without taking any more of your precious time I would like to end it here .This is my view of time, if you have any of your own images of time do feel free to share with me.
Being born in a conservative Asian community does imposes numerous restrictions not only on your lifestyle but all the more on your thought process .There exists a moral police always around you throughout your life, in early life in the form of parents and for the rest of your life in the form of your own conscience. However, the conscience of an individual is not entirely his/hers in this society. It is evolved over a long period of time that is approximately ten to fifteen years, which is really not long enough though for a person to get a stubborn inflexible mindset which has the ideologies of his/her ancestors ,only their experiences and nothing of his/her own. In this considerably short span of time s/he tends to accept the fact that what did not go right for the grandpa will be wrong for him/her as well. As opposed to the western society where an individual continues to learn and evolve the conscience till the last breath. Evolution is an everlasting process there till eternity unlike in Asia where a 20 year old is considered to be mature enough to start a family. There is ample space provided for committing mistakes and blunders as well, and hence an individual learns a lot more there than what s/he can learn from the experiences of elderly in Asia.
There is a huge cultural gap between the two societies that seems to be widening with each new generation. With each passing decade the moral and ethical rift seems to be deepening. Though there is also a large population in the east which in its attempt to emulate the west has lost its individuality. This emerging new group follows all the latest trends and rebellions of the west but forget to learn their lessons from the same. They carry with themselves everything in vogue in the Americas from the latest iPhone to the trendy Audi series. However what they forget to carry with themselves is the depth of mind and heart. The shallowness of these people is clearly visible from their accomplishments in life. The state of art possessions are just a rich daddy’s gift, seldom do we see a young multimillionaire in Asia who rose to the acme from his/her own potential .The wealth is just an inheritance from the ancestors here and rarely do people make efforts to reach to the pinnacle unlike in the west. It is also a sad fact that people in east try to follow the west and boast of their dropout success factor however how many Indians or Koreans do we know who have failed at school and started a million dollar organization. They are taught to attend school, get good grades, starting from the bottom slow and steady reach the pinnacle and then change the rules .The passion to defy, to change that may have driven them once certainly goes dim if not dies while they reach their once dreamt of destination and as a matter of fact they get used to the laid out principles that they feel no need to play with the principles. They get comfortable in the zone that had once been too petty, or too meagre for their existence.
What is really needed to be aped from the west is there free thinking spirit, their freedom and their ability and attitude to accept the failure. Changing the hard set rules once fed into the minds of Asian community is not easy. However where there is a will there is definitely a way. Hence perhaps this confused generation may take time to understand but certainly they will be the game changers. They will be the ones who will amalgamate the rules with the rebel in themselves and will constitute an altogether new world of the “WEAST”. A term that does not exist but will certainly be coined one day to make the world see this new breed of the homo sapiens.